Descartes walks into a bar.
The bartender walks up to him and says, “Would you care for a drink?”
Descartes replied, “I think not.” and disappears.
There are a few small variations of this joke, Descartes often orders a drink and is asked if he would like another-then poof! he disappears. I like adding odd little sounds to my jokes, and adding an extra line or two once in a while as well. But jokes are really best when cut to the bone. I heard one the other day I liked.
A man returns home after a date carrying a bunch of flowers. His roommate says ‘Why do you have these roses?’
‘You told me to take her flowers.’ The man replies.’So when she wasn’t looking, I did.’
Silly, and not too well worded, as I don’t recall the exact joke. I do like jokes though. My favorites are bad jokes.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter, he won’t come anyway.
Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left him.
When I was kid I found a book of book poetry, in addition to the standard Casey at the Bat, and The Raven there was a section of funny poems. Most of them didn’t strike me as all that funny, but a handful were so odd that I had to commit them to memory. They were about Little Willie and written by Harry Graham.
His face we’ll see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
was H2SO4. Willie in the cauldron fell;
See the grief on mother’s brow;
Mother loved her darling well —
Willie’s quite hard-boiled by now. In the family drinking well,
Willie pushed his sister, Nell.
She’s dead all right, the water kilt her.
Now they drink it through a filter.
Two fish in a tank-One turns to the other and says-‘Do you know to drive this thing?’
