Some of us have the privilege of seeing Jiri Tlusty in-person naked on a fairly regular basis.–Rosie Dimanno
I’m going to guess that she means she sees a naked Jiri Tlusty in the locker room before or after a game. They still do that brain dead crap, eh? Or maybe he is like the Don Juan of hockey players. Jocks have always been a bit of a mystery to me, a room full of steam and naked men-that sounds pretty gay, doesn’t it? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
This story has gathered a gay angle, even though the studly Jiri Tlusty is not gay, by all reports. But he is a pretty boy, so like pretty boy Brad Pitt, he may need to find himself a real manly woman like Angelina Jolie. Or maybe grow a beard or something. Or maybe stop pretending he’s Frecnhing another guy in a photo.
In my many years as a low paid photographer one of the hats I have worn is as lowly school photographer. In that role a host of young people passed before my lens by the hundreds in a day. You would do one pose, or five or six poses, depending on the job. Now there are really a limited number of poses for a single person. Well, a limited number that look good and are consistent with normal school photo protocols. Without fail the teens I was photographing would repeat the Young Americans mantra-That’s gay.
A naked photo of Vanessa Anne Hudgens did her no harm, and it might be looked at by the good people at Disney as a massively successful internet buzz marketing campaign. Millions of people that had never heard of Vanessa Anne Hudgens, prowled the web looking for a naked Vanessa Anne Hudgens in a hotel room. No one said Vanessa was gay, though there has been rather a lot of talk about shaving hairy bits of her anatomy.
What makes the Jiri Tlusty naked photo scandal different and bring in the gay card, is that Jiri Tlusty is a naked man, not a naked woman. Porn is dominantly a male sport. Men like to look at naked women. Even vapid dimwits like Paris Hilton are much more interesting when it is a naked Paris Hilton having sex, even if it was filmed in annyo-vision.
Men look at naked photos, women pose in naked photos. Unless they are gay. Then everything gets all confused. Gay women like to look at naked women. Gay men like to look at naked men. Do straight women like to look at naked men? Sure, but few women are as obsessed with seeing naked men as most men seem to be about seeing naked women.
The jokes are all about access. Women are notoriously hard to get naked, at least they used to be before the advent of Myspace and photo cellphones. So men had to look at photos instead of the real thing. I think most women can attest to the fact that getting a man naked usually involves a little less work. Like, none at all.
Besides, men go topless in the normal course of everyday life. A naked hockey player like Jiri Tusty should not be all that big a news story.
But hey, we are all about the equal time. Now we just need to find a few thousand other naked men to balance out all the naked women stories. On second thought, don’t bother. Please-that would be so gay.
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