I spend a lot of time in churches, most of which are purely for profit outfits that have huge buildings, their minister rides around in a limo, and they will tell you to your face that they are all about spreading the word of god. Most of them leave me alone, but every once in a while I run across a couple of gungho types that want to know what church I go to and tell me I am going to hell. And you don’t want to go to hell, do you? If it means that people like you are not going to be there, then, yeah, I guess hell it is. Of course, I tend to agree with Dr House that there is nothing after we shuffle off this mortal coil. Still seems to be a minority opinion though.
A couple of episodes ago, Dr House was doing his usual penance in The Clinic when a man came in, pulled out a knife, and stuck in an electrical outlet. This shocked the man and he crashed to the floor. It is my understanding of home electrical outlets that this would not happen, sticking a metal object into one part of an outlet would not shock you. But then, House is not all about the reality, is it?
We find out that the man with the knife had died in a car wreck a few days earlier and been brought back to life. He was dead for 93 seconds-the best 93 seconds of his life. Dr House later tries the same trick, but there is no land of sunshine and happiness for him.
There are two possible conclusions to take away from this, one-House is right and there is no afterlife, 2-House is an evil bastard and not heading for heaven.
I was at a church recently that had these little fliers laying around. They had four things to pray for. First on the list-Pray for the General Fund. Second on the List Donate to The General Fund.
Is it wrong to pray for money? I guess not, but I thought it was a bit funny that praying for the General Fund was their Number One Item. Number three is attend church and number four is serve the ministry.
There are a couple of billion people on earth that hate America, and feel perfectly justified to do so. Americans have always had plenty of hate to go around, if there was no one we were at war with, we made up a cold war just so we’d have someone to direct our hate toward. If that wasn’t enough, well, we can always hate other Americans for the color of their skin or the church they go to or who they have sex with, or just about any old reason. And these people think they are going to the Kingdom of Heaven. Not only that, they will be the only ones there.
And maybe there is a benevolent God watching over us in his spare time. Maybe we will all get our own personnel heaven.
Like Depeche Mode sang, we all need our own Personal Jesus. I wonder if he has cookies? And maybe some warm milk. . .
