Britney Spears once said she couldn’t understand why people were so fascinated with her, and frankly neither can I. Between her bland and bewildering performance on the MTV Awards and her desire to show off the fact that she only wears underwear to swim in, Britney Spears is an odd example of fame and celebrity. Or maybe it is just that we have all these people hanging around now to catch those panty-less moments.
In any case, I think that Birtney Spears has lost what little mind she had to start with. She isn’t a good enough actress to be putting on this mindless facade she has assumed. A woman too dumb to realize that normal people wear under garments. Maybe she has watched so many porno films, where underwear is seldom seen, that she thinks that is normal.
Of course, Britney was seen wearing a Future MILF t-shirt when she was pregnant, so she has a always had a bit of trouble with the concept of appropreate behavior. MILF, for the uninechated, means Mother I’d Like To F***. But, hey, she’s Brintney Spears! A naked Britney Spears. A topless Britney Spears. A bottomless Britney Spears. We all LOVE Britney Spears, right? Whatever she does is right because Britney Spears is doing it!
If I were a Doctor Phil type I would say she has boundary issues. Here is a woman that never had a chance to grow up. She went straight from being a child to being a sex goddess. Britney Spears Pop Tart, is cute and funny. Britney Spears mother of two who goes on drunken binges and shaves her head before vandalizing a car is just a train wreck. It can only be a matter of time before she walks around totally nude and gives everyone her “What?” face when they ask where her clothes are.
And if this is all some clever act to get more attention, then she must have been really bummed about Vanessa Anne Hudgens stealing her thunder. Like the Double Dog Dare in A Christmas Story, a naked Vanessa Hudgens is going straight for the end game. So if Britney Spears wants to stay on top of Technorati and the first page of Perez Hilton and TMZ, she will have keep flashing her formerly private parts until everyone that wants to see them has seen all they want to see.
In the meantime I think Britney Spears has two possible futures, one as a porn queen that stares vapidly into the camera, the other as a tragic star who dies too young. It’s a toss up right now which would be the sadder story.
