Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms

Agent Smith: Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from.                  -The Matrix

A number of doctors have suggested that there are certain foods we should all avoid, foods that we should never eat at all.   The list varies but usually includes:Sugar, Dairy, and Wheat.  It’s also advised that all processed foods be removed for your diet.  The average person can nod in agreement, but will then be faced with the seemingly impossible task of finding foods that met the criteria.   It is possible, you just have to give up the foods you’ve eaten your entire life and eat something different.  Uh, yeah, right.

America is an odd place.  We are filled to the gills with people who love drinking, smoking, praying, shooting, and fucking.  Not necessarily in that order.

Smoking has become less acceptable, but you can still buy all manner of tobacco products pretty much anywhere.  Unprotected sex took a hit in the 1980s when it looked like fucking was going to kill us all, but that was a long time ago and now were back to the glory days of anything goes.  Booze has always been some seriously evil shit, but unlike crack or heroin, it was the drug of choice for the Founding Fathers, so it’s all good.  Firearms of one sort or another are also very American, it’s The Law that anyone can own something whose sole purpose in life is to kill.  America is a country of churches, you’d be hard pressed to find any town in America that doesn’t have at least one church.  It’s downright amazing how many of these good, God fearing people smoke, drink, own guns, and fuck anything that moves.  Some of them are against dancing though, you have to draw the line somewhere.

America in 2012 is a virtual utopia, a dream world for anyone living in the 1950s or before.  We have more food than we can eat.  More clothes than we can wear.  More people than we can have sex with.  More houses than we can live in.  More TV channels than we can watch.  Just More of everything.  And a funny thing happens, the more we have, the more we want.  If your not a Billionaire by the time your twenty, your a complete and total failure.  So what’s the point of going on?

I clearly remember the Jonestown Massacre and the effect it had on me.  Here were close to a thousand people who drank poisoned Kool-aid, and those that didn’t want to drink were shot.  This was shocking, amazing, baffling.  The next event that would effect me the same way was 9/11.

Mass shooting have become commonplace.  A facebook friend is insulted that every time some nut uses a gun to kill a bunch of people we all want to talk about gun control-hmm, Every Time.  Yeah.

It’s clearly just a different way of seeing the world.  If I could wave a wand and make guns, tobacco, alcohol, and churches disappear I would.  I’d just make sex safer, we’ll need something to do once all the bars are closed and people see how boring more sports are without a few beers under their belt.

The Gun Lover, however, sees another solution.  Make sure everyone who can hold a gun has a gun to hold.  The idea here is that no one will walk into a school if they know every teacher, janitor, and student over four years old has a gun to defend themselves with.  Yeah, what could go wrong there?

In the end it all boils down to Money.  Alcohol, tobacco, firearms, churches, and sex are all huge money businesses.  So what if a handful of people get killed once in a while?


Jon Herrera
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